"The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open."

---Women's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL

"Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die."

---Men's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL

"Beauty is only a light switch away."

--->Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, North Carolina.

"I've decided that to raise my grades, I must lower my standards."

---Houghton Library, Harvard University, Cambridge Massachusetts.

"If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life then let's all get wasted together and have the time of our lives."

---Armand's Pizza. Washington, DC

Remember, it's not, "How high are you?", it's "Hi, how are you?"

---Rest stop off Route 81. West Virginia.

"God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust?"

---The Irish Times. Washington, DC

"Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity."

---The Bayou, Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

"No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit."

---Men's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill. Chapel Hill, North Carolina.

"At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry."

---Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, Arizona.

"It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere."

---Written in the dust on the back of a bus. Wickenburg Arizona.

"If voting could really change things, it would be illegal."

---Revolution Books. New York, New York.

"A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles you're going to have trouble with it."

---Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort. Dallas, Texas.

"Express Lane: Five beers or less."

---Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic's. Phoenix, AZ.

"If you love your boyfriend, have some class. Dont write his name where you wipe your ass." Home Signs Next