American Logic

We're highly insulted when traveling if the natives don't speak English, and insulted again when they visit here and still can't speak English.



We demand speed laws that will stop fast driving, then won't buy a car if it can't go over 100 miles an hour.



We have more TVs, radios, magazines and newspapers than any other country, and yet half the population has no idea what the heck's going on.



We know the line-up of every baseball team in the American and National Leagues but mumble through half the words in the "Star Spangled Banner."



We envy other countries' rich heritage, landmarks and historical sites and continue to tear down colonial homes to build parking lots.



We spend more money and time defending suspects' rights than we do the victims!



We're the only country in the world where the citizens own more hand guns than the military and all the police departments combined.



We'll spend half a day looking for vitamin pills to make us live longer, then drive 90 miles an hour on slick pavement to make up for lost time.



We gripe like hell about politicians and the state of the government at all levels, yet over half of us don't bother to vote.



We tie up our dogs and keep the cats in the house while letting our teenagers run wild.



We have a growth rate of over 80 % in lawyers, paralegals and legal secretaries and a 130 % decrease in farmers, assembly line workers and doctors.



We whip any enemy in battle, then feel guilty about it and give them the shirt off our backs.



We forget that except for the American Indians, we're all descended from immigrants and yell about quotas and "foreigners."



We will work hard on a farm so we can move into town where we can make more money so we can move back to the farm.



We spend untold thousands transporting kids a mile to school where we insist they exercise in their million dollar gyms.



We have more TV sets and watch more TV than any other country in the world, yet no TV sets are manufactured in the US.



We run from morning to night trying to keep our "earning power" up with our "yearning power."



We have more time saving appliances and devices than ever before in history and never have time to do anything.



We get upset we're spending over a billion dollars for education, but spend three billion dollars a year for cigarettes.



We insist on strict enforcement of traffic laws but are highly offended should we get ticketed for a violation.



In the office we talk about baseball, shopping or fishing, but when we're at the game, we talk about business, shopping or fishing.



We're highly offended by any reference to sex on TV during the times kids are watching, but never notice the violence, mayhem and murder.



We're supposed to be one of the most civilized Christian nation on earth, but we still can't deliver payrolls without an armored car.



We insist on the highest quality produce and toughest inspection laws, but have no similar laws concerned imported fruits and vegetables.



We have more experts on marriage than any other country in the world and still have more divorces.



We demand a good balance of trade, yet lust after almost any imported product.



We have more food to eat than any other country in the world and more diets to help keep us from eating it.

Home International Next